~~~~Weeeeeeeeeee~~~~
Here I am typing this out and its almost 4am in the morning. As usual I can't sleep. Its not a disorder yet, its just this night habit of mine that I can't sleep to early at night.
There goes friday and its saturday. Camp starts on tuesday and deary starts work this monday. The designer job havent called her yet so she's gonna do this telemarketer job only for a week earning 10 bucks per hour. Is that good or what??? Well, I thought I could spend time with her on monday, which is a day before camp, like the usuals but guess I thought wrong cos her work starts on Monday. Well, Like she said, Who's gonna pay her 10 bucks per hour if she comes to meet me. Anyway I've been spending alot of time with her, which was the whole of this week. Everyday.....and on most days we end up quarrelling especially the gg home part. Hmm.....
Its just her. The crankyness, groggyness and the out of a sudden she gets irritated. Can't blame her, its just her......and its tiering to always give in and lose out to her cos I wanna have fun and I want her to smile and talk. That's what I have to do I guess to make her happy. All this for love. Like I said before, just don't you dare break my heart.
Had a talk with her just now when we were having our dinner. About the old times with her, about how we started liking each other and stuff. She told me, I am like a brother to her, A best freind but yet a good lover. Guessed she really meant it.
Its just me that's thinking too much and feeling all this insecurities, but I'm feeling better now, its just her in need of time and space for herself and sm "friends". Can't blame her agian. She has a life and should have her life, cos I'm not the only 1 who should be too revovled around her cos we're best freinds, special freinds she proclaims. All I can say to us is all the best and just don't give up and lose faith cos we love each other alot and its just age and some other shit that's stopping us from being together.
This word "commitment"......hmm, guess she's not ready for that yet. Gave her directions already and since she knows it already all she wants now is some space to dicover herself and her way of mixing around with others.
Just to remind you again.
I love you, and Im asking simple things from you which are to appreciate me, to love me back and not to break my heart.
Cos if you do, you know what will happen to me cos Im not as strong as you think I am, and if you don't wanna see me fall, just don't push me away and don't break that small precious heart of mine. Im not being emotional or "sentimental" (the word she uses to describe me) its facts about me.
Well, Im hungry now and Ive said sorry and explained to you the reasons to our quarrell just now, go think about it.......and since you know how you are, that meaningless attitude of yours, go change yourself and be a better girl for someone to love, and for yourself to understand.
Im gonna go cook my prata, and you're having your nice slp.
Goodnight and go
There goes friday and its saturday. Camp starts on tuesday and deary starts work this monday. The designer job havent called her yet so she's gonna do this telemarketer job only for a week earning 10 bucks per hour. Is that good or what??? Well, I thought I could spend time with her on monday, which is a day before camp, like the usuals but guess I thought wrong cos her work starts on Monday. Well, Like she said, Who's gonna pay her 10 bucks per hour if she comes to meet me. Anyway I've been spending alot of time with her, which was the whole of this week. Everyday.....and on most days we end up quarrelling especially the gg home part. Hmm.....
Its just her. The crankyness, groggyness and the out of a sudden she gets irritated. Can't blame her, its just her......and its tiering to always give in and lose out to her cos I wanna have fun and I want her to smile and talk. That's what I have to do I guess to make her happy. All this for love. Like I said before, just don't you dare break my heart.
Had a talk with her just now when we were having our dinner. About the old times with her, about how we started liking each other and stuff. She told me, I am like a brother to her, A best freind but yet a good lover. Guessed she really meant it.
Its just me that's thinking too much and feeling all this insecurities, but I'm feeling better now, its just her in need of time and space for herself and sm "friends". Can't blame her agian. She has a life and should have her life, cos I'm not the only 1 who should be too revovled around her cos we're best freinds, special freinds she proclaims. All I can say to us is all the best and just don't give up and lose faith cos we love each other alot and its just age and some other shit that's stopping us from being together.
This word "commitment"......hmm, guess she's not ready for that yet. Gave her directions already and since she knows it already all she wants now is some space to dicover herself and her way of mixing around with others.
Just to remind you again.
I love you, and Im asking simple things from you which are to appreciate me, to love me back and not to break my heart.
Cos if you do, you know what will happen to me cos Im not as strong as you think I am, and if you don't wanna see me fall, just don't push me away and don't break that small precious heart of mine. Im not being emotional or "sentimental" (the word she uses to describe me) its facts about me.
Well, Im hungry now and Ive said sorry and explained to you the reasons to our quarrell just now, go think about it.......and since you know how you are, that meaningless attitude of yours, go change yourself and be a better girl for someone to love, and for yourself to understand.
Im gonna go cook my prata, and you're having your nice slp.
Goodnight and go
posted by Ayul aka paktam aka Kai @ 3:44 am
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