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Hi ayul......How are you?

Hmm.....I'm ok. Skool jus started and the hols jus ended. Did a few camps and a few things happened. I jus started doing my project. Its so called almost done. Thank you buddy. Thank you ezad. I donno how to thank you anymore. You've always been here for me. When I'm sad, when Im happy, when my troubles and problems start killing me. Thank you.

Here I am trying to let it all out but some things are just to personal. Im missing someone real bad right now. I miss my dear friend. I miss her like coconuts....Awak!!!!! Ayul MISSES YOU REAL BAD!!!! Hmm....wish I could hug her now, right now. Tts what i need. Tts what i really need. I jus finish doing a day job and Im half dead. It was seriously tiering and i jus felt like giving up and going home but I couldn't, I wouldn't get the money. I jus felt so weak and ive nvr felt so weak before.

Ayul!!! Wake up! Wake up! Why are you like this? At this point of time? Wake up! You know things have changed, so make the best out of it. I need to go to Ubin to run away from all this. And i would really greatly appreaciate it if my dear friend can tag along. Please.....

Come on....snap out of it.....I jus feel that Im being pulled away somewhere. And Im tired cos i feel like Im trying to run away from this somewhere. Ya Allah.....help me....kuatkanlah hati ku, tabahkan la hatiku. Berikan la ku pertunjuk dlm hidupku. Berikan la ku cahaya dlm hidupku. Tolongla Ya Allah....I dont want to drown again.....I dont want to fall again. Ya Allah....please give me faith and strength for me to continue......Amin.... I guess I am really tired. Tired of running away from things that my heart really tells me to do. Running away from the things that are infront of me. Im a coward. Thinking that Im a strong person but deep inside me Im jus me. Scared. Scared of reality. Im glad god did help me to see things more clearly. And it was a good thing i started praying again. It makes me feel so good after i pray and that everything inside me jus flows out smoothly. Eventhough some things that you want them to happen dont happen, there's no point fretting. But trying harder and not giving up. I may be a coward but atleast I still dare to try. And i wont stop trying till god takes my life away. I wont stop here. Cos life has a long way to go unless god takes me away.

I guess its time for me to really start concentrating on my studies and stop slacking. I've been to slack cos Ive been carried away. Jus dont give up.....Dont give up.....My teacher wants to meet my parents this tuesday, not sure why.....

Hmmm......awak....hope to see you soon.....I miss you....Really...