Form My Heart I'm Letting It All Out

I guess I have found my source of easing myself. It’s writing it out and it really makes me feel so much better. It’s similar to letting it all out. I’m thankful that I’m not stupid to take drugs and endanger my life just to forget this pain. I admit I did it last time but it wouldn’t really endanger me that much. Sometimes I do laugh at myself for doing it last time. What did I do? Hahaha, I drank till my kidneys and heart couldn’t take it anymore. I did that for 2 months for your information. Didn’t really go home and I just sat down drinking 1 bottle after another. Wondering around like a lost sole. I’m thankful that god gave me a 2nd chance which happened all of a sudden. It just smacked me right at the head. Questions started playing around in my mind. Why am I doing this? Do I benefit anything? Yup, all of a sudden. And that’s how exactly I changed myself and my life.

Where am I now in life?

I’m proudly standing on my 2 feet studying Nitec in Tourism and planning to go for Higher Nitec In Hospitality and Tourism Management next year, Yup I’ve got it all planned. It’s a new and good start for me. At the same time I’m juggling my part-time job which is a server at coccolatte and being a freelance camp instructor. These are the sources for my money and my moving on. I know I say this all the time but I’m seriously proud of myself that I’m here right now standing up straight without any helping hands. It wasn’t easy for me being here; yup I have to repeat that again cos I’m proud that I was strong enough to go through all the tough stages of moving on and I’m still in fact moving on. Not struggling just trying to push myself so I wouldn’t be brought down easily if it happens to me again.

I have so many plans and so many things coming my way especially now in my new busy life. Since I’ve became an instructor there are so many opportunities coming my way. At lasts! All that I’ve always desired for and all the things I’ve always enjoyed are now coming true. My Birthday is in a few weeks time and I’m looking forward to it but the problem is I won’t be in town. I’ll be in Malaysia organizing an expedition. I’m looking forward for a lot of people wishing me for my birthday. Not hoping for presents but more to people wishing me. It’s a big thing for me cos I rarely get wishes. It’s like a day forgotten by many. I guess they’re to busy preparing for New Year. So I have my expedition, my birthday and my license. Then next year will be my attachment followed by getting a bike, then going for a diving course then going to Karimun then to THAILAND! That’s the plan for now.