Problems...
Not saying I’m not sure bout my self or I’m not sure what to do with my life. Problems will always be problems and they will never go away till you solve it YOURSELF! Well….it seems like my life has always been occupied with problems, never living me with peace. I don’t know how I can go on with my life with all this problems. One after another it just keeps on coming.
Why have I never given you up? Why have I never forgotten you? Why have I never hated you? And the biggest question I always ask myself is why I even bother thinking of you and still care for you if you don’t even give a shit bout me! Hmmmm….till now I wonder, and I myself don’t know when I’ll stop wondering.
Truthfully speaking I’m not ready to have another relationship now, not ready to have commitment and not ready to sacrifice time for anyone. It seems like I am scared which I partly am, cos it’s like you got stabbed once you wouldn’t want it to happen again. Just can’t bare the pain you have to go through. It just makes you think a lot, I know it isn’t important for me right now, its just bothering me a lot. Whether I should or whether I shouldn’t. This question plays around my mind again and again. Till I get so angry I don’t know what to do. Yeap, that’s how pathetic I can be, irritated by my own self. I do miss love, I do miss being loved, I miss being in a relationship and I do miss being cared and remembered by someone who cares for you. Haizz….but I just can’t see it happening. Not now, not in my busy life, wouldn’t know how I can cope sey, not now in my life when I still see myself as young, which is too young to be too committed in something and getting disappointed yourself.
I have told myself to be strong so many times. I know I am getting stronger as months and weeks go by. I have put her way behind my head and way behind my heart. Buy why the fuck does it appear again and again???? Why the FUCK!!!!!!!!!! I am sick and tired of it, when will this shit go away. Its not that I want to think of it, it just comes, the fucked up part is, it happens when I sleep. YES! Dreams that I get…. I know they are dreams, but they are irritating me….why must they come and why must the dream be bout her???? If like that how the fuck can I forget about her? HOW? I ask anyone who gets across my blog and gets to read this post. YES, people say forget…easy said. What the fuck am I suppose to do when I try to forget the person and they appear in your dream. If the dream was bad I wouldn’t mind but the dreams I get about her are all the good ones. Am I supposed to believe it? FUCK AH!!!! That isn’t going to bring me down, I say that again. Nothing is happening between me and her. We stay as we are. Acquaintances we will be. Its just irritating…..simple said.
Listening to the songs on my mp3 to calm myself down, that’s the best solution for me now. Just chill and smoke myself to death if I could. Nyah Hah!
Why have I never given you up? Why have I never forgotten you? Why have I never hated you? And the biggest question I always ask myself is why I even bother thinking of you and still care for you if you don’t even give a shit bout me! Hmmmm….till now I wonder, and I myself don’t know when I’ll stop wondering.
Truthfully speaking I’m not ready to have another relationship now, not ready to have commitment and not ready to sacrifice time for anyone. It seems like I am scared which I partly am, cos it’s like you got stabbed once you wouldn’t want it to happen again. Just can’t bare the pain you have to go through. It just makes you think a lot, I know it isn’t important for me right now, its just bothering me a lot. Whether I should or whether I shouldn’t. This question plays around my mind again and again. Till I get so angry I don’t know what to do. Yeap, that’s how pathetic I can be, irritated by my own self. I do miss love, I do miss being loved, I miss being in a relationship and I do miss being cared and remembered by someone who cares for you. Haizz….but I just can’t see it happening. Not now, not in my busy life, wouldn’t know how I can cope sey, not now in my life when I still see myself as young, which is too young to be too committed in something and getting disappointed yourself.
I have told myself to be strong so many times. I know I am getting stronger as months and weeks go by. I have put her way behind my head and way behind my heart. Buy why the fuck does it appear again and again???? Why the FUCK!!!!!!!!!! I am sick and tired of it, when will this shit go away. Its not that I want to think of it, it just comes, the fucked up part is, it happens when I sleep. YES! Dreams that I get…. I know they are dreams, but they are irritating me….why must they come and why must the dream be bout her???? If like that how the fuck can I forget about her? HOW? I ask anyone who gets across my blog and gets to read this post. YES, people say forget…easy said. What the fuck am I suppose to do when I try to forget the person and they appear in your dream. If the dream was bad I wouldn’t mind but the dreams I get about her are all the good ones. Am I supposed to believe it? FUCK AH!!!! That isn’t going to bring me down, I say that again. Nothing is happening between me and her. We stay as we are. Acquaintances we will be. Its just irritating…..simple said.
Listening to the songs on my mp3 to calm myself down, that’s the best solution for me now. Just chill and smoke myself to death if I could. Nyah Hah!
posted by Ayul aka paktam aka Kai @ 6:20 pm
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