Why do dreams Happen? Is it reality or is it just some stupid crap.

Im sick and tired.....Im sick of the dreams i get. Dreams aint real and when the moment you wake up, everything seems so real like nothing bad ever happened. Haizz...Im seriously tired...it feels like shit waking up on most mornings after dreaming of stupid dreams. Fuck! She's no longer in my life and ive gone so far away from her, cant it just leave me alone. It makes me feel like Im a loser waking up empty at heart feeling like shit. There's no point for me to settle things cos its been a long time and i guess my heart wasnt satisfied not knowing the real truth. Ive had enough....I want to live my life.

Just got home from my recce trip at Mt Belumut. A 1010m high mountain. It was really something new for me. And till this point of time i cant believe i made it through. Just me and my friend, the 2 of us. And yeah, Im proud of it. Even people who saw us, asked. And they couldn't beleive that two 19 year olds are doing it on their own, not knowing the place and just going up there with no help. The whole journey itself was awesome and to experience it for myself was super incredible. The people were freindly and we got quite alot of help and infomation. Im looking forward for the next expedition to this mountain. Good thing everything went well, just maybe a few cuts and scratches my friend got. Hmmm, and I LOST MY HANDPHONE! Shit! There goes all the numbers. Shithead.

Hmmm....listening to my music and smoking while typing all this out. Sometimes I wish i was rich...so i don't have to work so hard to acheive somethings. So its back to working everyday and saving up every dollar. Its the 2nd week of April and my dad's birthday is near. Im suppose to go Thailand this month but by the looks of it....FUCK LA! I don't care, Im gonna make it happen. Alone or what ever, Im still going cos no 1 is gonna stop me. I need a break, a break from work life, from friends, from life. From what ever responsibilities i have. I just wanna be free for awhile when Im there. Its still gonna happen.